The mental health of boys and men in the United States is reaching crisis state. The statistics are alarming: people who identify as men made up more than 80% of the suicide deaths in 2021. They experience more than double the rate of unintentional drug overdose deaths. And while nearly one in 10 men experience depression or anxiety, less than half seek treatment. 

Men face both explicit and internalized pressure to not seek help for mental health needs. The danger is that instead, as men seek ways to validate their emotions and create community, their search can be fulfilled by toxic masculine stereotypes that hold great appeal in traumatic times. 

It’s our point of view that these new stereotypes are not just seductive and satisfying. They’re dangerous, because in the end, emulating them will leave men unequipped to face the nuanced challenges of today’s world — and do more harm than good. 

As their mental health is challenged from all sides — family, work, social circles — men are finding themselves in a state of despair. When they feel lost in a world that doesn’t make space for them to be vulnerable, they’ll look for answers that feel good immediately — and that makes them highly susceptible to messaging that elevates these new stereotypes as the ideal. 

Ironically, these stereotypes can serve a purpose: if we create understanding of these stereotypes and deconstruct their appeal, we can get to the root of what boys and men today are looking for. Seeing how toxic, inaccurate stereotypes build their audiences can help us refine and strategically position more-positive messaging — messaging that speaks men’s truth, communicates in their language and draws men toward inclusive, connected communities that actually elevate and empower all to do better. 

Evolving stereotypes provide insight 

As communicators, we’ve seen traditional stereotypes — both as an ideal and as comic relief — evolve with society’s definition of masculinity. Before, men could measure themselves against the emotionally absent provider, the loveable oaf, or the manly man. 

But as the U.S. economy moved away from traditionally male union and labor jobs, employment that used to take care of entire families on one income has become scarce, eliminating the possibility of being a provider. Women are taking more spots in education, in business, in government — and rightfully so — but for men who identify greatly with seeing leaders who look, talk and act like them, it feels threatening, as it removes the innate power of the manly man, and moves many into the realm of the loveable — but laughable — oaf. 

As old ideals of masculinity evolved, the definitions of success gave rise to new, powerful personas for men to admire. These new stereotypes offer seductive answers, ones that offer simple zero-sum, us-or-them equations. 

Today’s definitions of masculinity 

The new stereotypes are not an overnight success. They evolved slowly from previous versions of masculinity, making it easier for men to identify and align with them over time. Flip through any social media feed or late-night cable channel rundown, and you’ll see familiar themes from the past embodied in these personas: 

• The Alpha. You spot this guy right away at a party. He claims his place at the front of every table and is the voice that’s listened to — mostly because he shouts everyone else down. He’s Homer with brains and aggression: he wins people over by being funny and slightly unbalanced
  • Persona: Joe Rogan or Andrew Tate 
  • The not-so-hidden appeal: For men who are unsure of saying the wrong thing or may have had to do some self-editing, the alpha male lets loose in a rebellious, tell-it-like-it-is way — that they could never get to do in their everyday life. 
• The Unapologist. This stereotype uses credentials, science, research and facts to validate a traditional definition of masculinity — and to remove men from responsibility to change their thinking or behavior. He’s the emotionally absent father all over again, only this time his cold, hard demeanor is in the face of anyone who disagrees. 
  • Persona: Ben Shapiro or Jordan Peterson 
  • The not-so-hidden appeal: By wrapping up in a mantle of well-spoken, educated credentials, the easy answer of “Men: We’re just better” becomes respectable. 
• The Perfectionist. Whether it’s a perfect-physique body hacker, a spiritual leader who’s attained a higher level through self-denial, or anyone who demands a high level of sacrifice and commitment to “fit in” with their particular community, the Perfectionist offers men a way forward through a constant striving — striving that used to pay off in a better career path or greater place in a community. 
  • Persona: David Goggins or Joel Osteen 
  • The not-so-hidden appeal: The answer has been here the whole time: It’s not the world, or the economy, or feminism, or any other reason that you haven’t felt the satisfaction you seek. You just haven’t been trying hard enough.

Why put in the effort to understand these stereotypes, when we’re working so hard to show men alternate paths to feeling the security, community and respect they crave? 

Because these stereotypes are wildly successful. Because they are appealing. 

Because they are out there, with young boys watching carefully. 

And most of all, because we can learn something from them. 

Each of these personas offer a glimpse into the most vulnerable, honest needs of men today — and a measuring stick that we can use for to fine-tune own communications and build a way forward for men through initiatives that embrace their needs, and respond in ways they can relate to. 

Filling the white space in men’s identities 

So what are the voids that these stereotypes are filling? As young men — and every generation on up — is seeking to define what being a man means, they’re craving for these blank spaces to be filled: 

• Sense of Purpose and Direction
• Community and Belonging
• Empowerment and Confidence
• Understanding and Clarity
• Validation and Recognition
• Challenge and Growth

Looking at this list, it’s easy to connect some dots. The Alpha is all about empowerment, confidence, validation and recognition. The Unapologist delivers his own type of understanding and clarity in confusing times. And the Perfectionist is defined by growth through challenge, allowing men the satisfaction of feeling capable, ready and needed. 

Cumulatively, each of these stereotypes also invites men into a community — or so it seems. But the truth is: the solutions that these stereotypes offer are short-term satisfactions. They’re answers that work from afar, but in day-to-day life, where nurturing relationships with all kinds of people require understanding and empathy, and where soft skills like teamwork, creative problem solving and conflict management are essential to job success, these stereotypes are setting men up to fail. 

How to apply what these stereotypes teach us 

Here’s where we can subvert the stereotypes and their transparent, self-serving goals: By using their insight and strategy to promote the goals of creating more safe spaces for men, for helping them connect with others so they don’t feel alone, for empowering them to embrace the resources and support that can help. 

As you’re developing messaging and campaigns that speak to men — particularly target audiences who identify greatly with the new stereotypes — it’s critical you consider the following: 

Behind the brash Alpha, there’s a man who feels voiceless. 

So: Be sure your communications are speaking their true concerns and fears. 

For instance: If you’re trying to get young men to stop vaping, telling them the risks of vaping won’t change behavior. Acknowledging that vaping is one way that young men are managing anxiety — and offering alternatives that are in addition to a source of comfort shows compassion and builds trust. 

Case study: Truth Breath of Stress Air

Acknowledging the sources of stress in a teen’s life and depicting it in their language/world gives the deeper message of the dangers of vaping a way to come across as trustworthy. 

Behind the Unapologist, there’s a man who’s being told that his feelings are wrong. 

So: Translate your messages into ones that take deeply rooted, generational beliefs into consideration. 

For instance: If you’re trying to connect with older men in rural areas regarding their mental health, start the conversation through channels that truly influence them, or by putting the conversations you want them to have in a more accessible context. 

Case Study: Norwich City World Mental Health Day Spot

A powerful message is made accessible because the audience (men) are encouraged to check in – they remain in power, in control, and the activator in the situation — beginning a conversation that may ultimately reveal their own needs. 

Behind the Perfectionist, there’s a man who feels not good enough. 

So: As men start to acknowledge ways they can move forward differently, they may feel unable to become what they want to be due to community, family or other pressures — or simply that no matter what they do, it’ll never be enough. Take this into account and be fearless in acknowledging their struggles and fears, never treating them as trivial or without worth, and find ways to boost self-esteem. 

For instance: If you’re trying to get men to enroll in a new college program, provide accessible breadcrumbs through the enrollment process so it feels less daunting, with confidence-boosting successes they can achieve in manageable ways. 

Case study: Gillette The Best a Man Can Get

Showing men the best version of themselves fills the void that men feel in a different way: A chance to be a different kind of hero in their own stories. 

In the end, we won’t solve it with one campaign, or one initiative, or even one organization. But if collectively, we can see how men are already latching on to stereotypes that serve them — and go a level deeper to understand the appeal, the why behind it — we can more genuinely connect with the people who we can help the most. 

And most important, we can continue to fill the marketing and communications landscape with messaging that allows men and boys to embrace their vulnerabilities, normalizing a more nuanced, individualized and positive definition of masculinity.